Desirability is a funny thing. What one person wants is often not what another person wants, otherwise everyone would want Ballers to move to hour long episodes.
It’s no different when it comes to what people find attractive in other people, and leads me to ask “who would want me?” I’m not being melodramatic when I ask that; I genuinely don’t know the answer. With so many eligible men out there, many of whom are some combination of funnier/richer/better looking than me is there any woman who would want a man who has a large family of his own already?
It’s not a scientific comparison, but I’ll do a simple pros and cons list for me:
- Loving and doting father
- Well travelled
- Full of anecdotes
- Believes in being a gentleman
- Enthusiastic dancer
- Earns a pretty decent wage
- Has been described as humorous
- Keen to please (in ways I shan’t go into in case my children ever read this)
- Isn’t a total munter in the looks department
- Has four kids to look after (at time of writing, full time)
- Is finishing paying off debts, so hasn’t got money for city breaks
- Is mid-divorce
- Is a tiny bit broken so needs a bit of fixing
- Lives miles away from London
- Isn’t getting any younger – 36 is no spring chicken!
- Did I mention having four kids?!
Dating while managing to look after my kids is sometimes a bit of a challenge, especially if the other person doesn’t fully accept that my time is not always my own. I’ve got some friends and family who might be able to help look after my kids for the occasional night, but generally speaking things need to be planned for when I don’t have the kids. No impulsive “what are you up to tonight?” opportunities for me for half the week. It’s all going to need to be planned, which sort of takes away some of the spontaneity that new romances thrive on.
That being said, thanks to the five days on/five days off rota we work with, I’ve actually got decent chunks of time available to play with. The fact that it’s not weeks at a time really helps, as it’ll never need to be more than five days between seeing each other (other commitments pending). That’s pretty standard for busy people, and means the five days when we are both available become even more precious.
There are people out there who have shown that they are interested in getting to know me more, but whether I find the right one who will be willing to take on the complete package remains to be seen.
Fingers are well and truly crossed though!