My Dating CV

Those of you who follow me on Twitter will know that recently I’ve been on a few dates with someone I’ve been referring to as Wembley Woman (after we went to Wembley on one of our early dates). At the time of writing we are still seeing each other, and it’s gotten to the stage where she is thinking about mentioning me to her friends.

Her reticence to do so before now has been down to the fact that she has a pact with them; after some bad dating choices, they need to pre-approve her potential romantic partners. I’ve not gone into that too much with her, but as she’s really tight with her friends I appreciate this is no small deal.

I jokingly mentioned that I should probably prepare some sort of CV or application and presentation for them (she works in the public sector, so there are forms and processes for everything), setting out who I am and why I want to date her. I then had half an hour free, so I planted my tongue firmly in cheek and did just that, and thought I’d share it with all of you. She laughed when she read it, which was a relief as I didn’t want her to think I was a psycho. I’m now wondering how much of it will ever get shared more widely with them…

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To whom it may concern,

Please accept this CV in support of my application for the opportunity to date Wembley Woman. I appreciate that the application and vetting process is thorough and rigorous, and aim to meet or exceed the collective expectations of the application panel if given the opportunity to progress through this full process.

In summary, I am a positive and thoughtful person, with the dual ability to plan things as well as be spontaneous when the opportunity arises. I am well traveled and have a range of tales and stories which I am willing to share at appropriate times, though will endeavor not to hog time or attention unduly. I would be looking for an appropriate amount of one-to-one time with Ms Wembley, though of course I would have no expectations of 100% of her time and attention, leaving her free to pursue existing projects and proposed activities with the wider panel on an ongoing basis.

You will note my previous experience in similar roles on the CV below; I’d like to highlight my key skills and my ability to hold down a comparable relationship opportunity for an extended period of time. Note also that my most recent long-term placement ended due to unforeseen overlap between that placement and my former partner’s other placement (an additional placement that I was not aware of at the time), rather than terminating due to any issues with my own performance. Please also take care to note the proposed management of my four ongoing sub-projects as mentioned in the CV. I do not foresee these causing any negative impact moving forwards.

If confirmed in the role with Ms Wembley I will endeavor to hold up my side of the relationship agreement and strive for excellence in all aspects of the position. I accept some of these aspects will require feedback to be shared with the group and open myself up to such analysis. Contact information has been added to better facilitate your inevitable online vetting processes – I am happy to answer further questions about your findings as required.

I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

Kindest regards,

A Dating Dad

 

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A Dating Dad – CV

Overview

An experienced and passionate romantic partner, I am currently looking for a suitable opportunity to exercise my skills as the male half of a positive, dynamic and exciting relationship.

Key skills

• Loyal
• Funny
• Can cook (specialties include full English breakfasts, beef wellington and Thai green curry)
• Excellent taste in music and movies
• Enthusiastic dancer
• Gregarious and capable of holding conversations on a variety of subjects
• Massage
• Knows lots of words and uses the right ones on the majority of occasions

Other, more personal and intimate skills are in place and constantly being improved and refined, though specific details fall outside of the scope of this CV.

Experience

Unattached – January 2017-date

This period has been spent on personal development and growth, ensuring I am able to bring the best of my experiences to date and apply them to new and exciting opportunities.

I have held a small number of part-time or short-term contracts during this period, though none has yet lived up to expectations and all have been mutually terminated on positive terms.

Attached – November 1998-January 2017

In this role I took on and developed all aspects of the position over an extended period of time. With promotions from dating to boyfriend to fiance and finally to husband, I demonstrated a willingness and drive to progress within the role and push boundaries forwards at regular intervals.

During this time I took on additional responsibility by becoming lead parent for four sub-projects (referred to colloquially as “children”), adding them to the overall programme of activities over a managed period of time. To date, outcomes for each of these have varied but generally been above expectations; indications are that these four projects will go on to achieve independent success without ongoing support long term.

Please note, whilst these projects are ongoing and still largely under my control, there is no expectation that they overlap with the applied-for position. Each is a self-contained project and managed separately, though of course if the opportunity arose I would be more than happy to explore potential collaboration events and workstreams.

References are available on request.