Even with the rumours that Ryan Reynolds will star, I can’t help but feel uneasy about the planned sequel to the mighty Top Gun which has apparently been green-lighted. Some things are best left in perfect isolation and appreciated through the ages as a perfect moment never to be repeated (like the one bread and butter pudding I made in 2001).
Even taking into account thrilling dogfights, motorbikes rides at sunset and some of the most homo-erotic volleyball scenes ever commited to celluloid, the best thing in that entire movie was unarguably the legend that is Goose. Maverick’s wingman, Goose is on hand and has his pilot’s back whether it’s at 30,000 feet, in a sensitive briefing or around a piano singing Great Balls of Fire at the top of his lungs (a move I still want to achieve one day).
You see, a good wingman (and I’ll use the masculine phrase for this despite it being a gender-neutral position) is a dream not only for hotshot pilots but also for those of us looking to navigate the dating world. They could be the difference between success and failure, so need to be chosen with care.
Here are some of the things to bear in mind when choosing your own ultimate wingman.
One notch below
The point of your wingman is to help you meet someone. Simply put, if they are more attractive, funny, confident, sexier and generally an all-round better person, guess who your potential match will be more interested in.
No, they need to be attractive enough, confident enough and funny enough to open opportunities and get people talking but then self-aware enough to pass on your dream date to you and step back out of the way. You don’t want to come across as second best after all. Of course, an even better option would be that they are…
They are fun, funny and confident, yes, but even better than that they are hopelessly in love! They have no problem going up to members of the opposite sex and starting conversations as they have no fear of rejection, no ulterior motives and no pressure.
If you have a good friend in a relationship who is willing to back you up, grab them and take them out!
Not holding a secret
You’ve met a perfect 10. She’s smoking hot, is funny and finds you funny too and is perhaps interested in going out on a date. She knows your wingman so asks for your number. Only your wingman has their own agenda. They might think she’s no good for you. They might be having a bad day. Or they might even fancy you/her themselves, so hand over the wrong number.
Be sure your wingman is taking part for the right reasons and wants to help set you up. Sounds obvious, right?! But there’s no use going to a singles night to find you a date and then sitting talking with them all night and not actually meeting anyone else.
Party people are fun people. They make things happen. Trouble is, sometimes they lose focus and end up just concentrating on having a good time.
That’s fun, of course, and good things might accidentally happen. You might get lucky and find someone else swept up in your wingman’s shenanigans. But luck is a shit strategy. Make sure they remember what job they have that night!
It’s all about the confidence
As Gok Wan said, confidence is king. Walk as if you know you are a catch and others will believe it. Act as if others should want to speak with you and they will. There’s a fine line between that and arrogance, of course, but a confident person is a sexy person.
If your wingman isn’t confident then they are not your wingman. They are a drinking buddy along for the ride. If they are not willing to work a room and approach individuals and groups to test the ground, or to warm up a prospect by bigging you up at every turn then it is worse that they are there than if they were at home sipping a cup of cocoa.
I’m still looking for my ideal wingman, truth be told. Few of my friends are confident enough to do it, and those who are confident are also in relationships and rarely if ever get to go out. And I’ve also not really gone out “on the pull” too much – I’ve gone out and had a good time, but rarely with the intention of looking for someone myself.
Online dating has been fun (mostly), but perhaps it’s worth seeing what it’s like to do it old-skool style. Time to break out my metaphorical flight suit, find someone with a suitable moustache and buzz some towers.
I feel the need. The need for speed.